It’s crazy how things can change in a matter of one year.

December 31, 2021

Last year, I was back in Winnipeg. It was a freezing cold New Year’s Eve but I was excited, because I’m going to be meeting up with someone I met on Tinder to grab some dinner and maybe hang out and some movies later. But they bailed on me literally half an hour before our agreed meetup time.

I was hoping I could hang out and spend New Year’s Eve with my roommate at the time, but he already had plans. I ended up eating dinner by myself on the place where I was supposed to meet up my would-have-been date.

I got back alone to the quiet apartment. I tried putting on a movie, but I felt too miserable I ended up just staring at the screen and I had to turn the TV off halfway into the movie. The overwhelming loneliness made me broke down on the couch.

Knowing that I’ll be spending New Year’s lonely, I called up work and I asked if I can work a shift on January 1st instead of just spending the rest of the day in the apartment alone. I recomposed myself after what felt like forever on the couch and did a quick light photography shoot of myself drawing #22. I posted it on Instagram as my first post of the year and calling it “Hopes and dreams.”

I promised myself it won’t be like this again next year and I tucked myself into bed.

It was 9:45 PM. F*ck the countdown, I’m done.

January 1, 2022

It’s -37C before factoring in the wind. It’s been in the -30s for weeks now and I woke up at 6 AM to get ready for my early morning shift. Working outside in the brutal cold? I’d rather freeze than stay in the empty apartment because it will only remind me why I’m not worth anyone’s time.

December 31, 2022

It was my first New Year’s Eve in Toronto. I spent the entire evening in downtown and the waterfront to watch the festivities and the fireworks. I was by myself, but there’s so much things going on and transit was free so there was a lot people that I never felt lonely. The place was just alive and hopping.

I looked at the fireworks and smiled at the spectacle. I was listening to the host of the program. He was saying something along the lines of how Toronto is an amazing city full of amazing people and how fireworks represent brighter days ahead. It was a balmy 8C and there was a gentle light wind. There was rain on the forecast but the grounds were dry. I was at peace.

I enjoyed the festivities and got home at around 3 AM.

January 1, 2023

I was planning to just stream and play some Splatoon and Mario Kart on Twitch* with a friend but it literally blew up! Next thing I know I have seven people join me on the game. We tried all sorts of Mario Kart gimmicks – from spiny shells-only to Bullet-bills only and it was hilarious. The chat has been equally hectic relentlessly hilarious as well. A couple of people have clipped the moments I almost lost air from my countless giggle fits. Next thing I realized, I’ve already been streaming for seven hours!

2022 vs 2023

It’s really crazy how things can change in a matter of one year. Looking at the two photos above, it’s like looking at two different variants of myself. I like the new one better. Looks like I’m off to a promising start to the year.

Of course all credits go to the wonderful people who I’ve met and spent time with this year. These positive changes in my life would not have been possible without you.

A small part of me wants to go back to my old self a year ago. I’m gonna give him a hug, and tell him that he’s gonna be okay.

Happy New Year! 🙂

*I’m on Twitch?! Yes! More on this on a later post

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